I’m ashamed to report how long it has taken me to paint these two very small paintings. It’s certainly not because they were miniatures, hardly. They’re both 8” x 10”. 

Doable? Maybe, maybe not.

I had lots of excuses along the way: traveling, house projects, a game arm, all the painting I did earlier in the year. In the end, pretty hollow stuff.

What really happened was I froze. I’d come into the studio and I’d get an odd feeling in my stomach. It was beyond simple procrastination (though I got my Girl Scout’s badge in that this fall) it was as if I had suddenly forgotten how to pick up a brush and forge ahead, fearlessly.

Yeah, I was afraid. 

I was afraid I’d screw them up. I was afraid they’d be bad. I was afraid of being afraid and so I simply avoided. Of course, I got a lot of other things done this year (11 paintings in all) but not much in the months of September, October, November and December!

Then, the other day I found a video I’d created early last year while working on one of my favorite paintings, Parting Company. In it, I explained my process and then provided a time-lapse of the work accomplished that day. As I watched that video something inside of me switched back on. I rediscovered the joy I feel when I’m painting. The way the painting reveals itself to me as I wrestle with how to handle color, how to describe the light and shadow. How to bring drama or calm, longing or regret to the canvas. 

Suddenly I could hardly wait to finish those little paintings. All it took was to find a way to turn that switch back on! And these are the result, Kindred No. 3 and Kindred No. 4. 

So, from my studio to you, I hope you find a way to banish fear and to find inspiration and beauty in this brand spanking New Year.

Paintings l to r: Kindred No. 4 & Kindred No. 3 © Lissa Banks 2023